Messed up shite

I've realized that when I get close someone, there's a sudden irrational fear of getting hurt web they leave me, like it's inevitable.

So what do I do then?

All sorts of things that I don't mean, just to drive them away. Make them leave of their own accord, so there's no one to blame.

& I've become very good at it, which scares the hell out of me, because I never wanted them to leave in the first place.